Tom and jerry are always naked, except when they are on the beach.

You don’t realize how much bullshit the news says until they talk about something you know a lot about

Being an adult is letting someone win an argument just in order to save everyone’s time.

When you cannot sleep because you can’t stop thinking about something it’s like a single program not letting the computer shut down

Since we're putting graphic images on cigarette boxes, lets put pictures of obese people, arteries filled with plaque, and people dying from diabetes on junk food and fast food packaging.

Depression/anxiety convince you that both everyone and no-one cares

Naming a generation of humans after the last letter in the alphabet is quite foreboding

Ads saying to "act now" because the product is "selling fast" are always lying. Companies would have no need to advertise a product if they already expected to run out of supply due to high demand.

Even though most of us have seen it countless times, spotting the Moon during daylight seems to always be worth noticing.

If you can sleep 8+ don't ever take that for granted

By killing spiders in your house you are making their gene pool stronger as you likely killed the slowest/dumbest spider. Your fear of spiders is creating super spiders!

The reason you no longer want to listen to songs you once loved is because you're not the same person who loved it anymore.

Replacing the W with T in What, When and Where answers those phrases.

If we invent a camera better than our eyes how would we know?

Pocahontas and Shakespeare were alive at the same time

If Cinderella’s shoe was a perfect fit, it never would have slid off.

You spend your life collecting guests for your own funeral. Your family is your starter pack.

Girls are so used to compliments that insults stick out to them. Guys are so used to insults that compliments stick out to him.

In the future, saying a car is "automatic" or "manual" will refer to whether a computer or human is in charge of driving