Mornings are an hour of lying in bed deciding if life is worth living, then your bladder making the choice for you.

The Swiss must have been pretty confident in their chances of victory if they included a wine bottle corkscrew on their army knife.

"All men are dogs" is an insult but almost all dogs show unconditional love

The Premium version of sleep would include a feature that allows you to actually feel the comfort of sleep.

Have you ever seen a crane being set up? No, it's just there, all of a sudden. Bam! A crane higher than everything else .. Magical!

Everyone talks about the importance of not giving up, but never the importance of realizing when to give up.

The rest of your body just exists to keep your genitals alive long enough to come in contact with other genitals.

A lot of people mature from pain instead of age.

The ultimate entertainment as a kid was watching raindrops on a car window seeing which raindrop "wins"

All your life decisions have led you to read this.

Autumm and Winter are partners in crime. Autumm kills plants and Winter hides them.

The more you know, the dumber you feel.

I do forward posts because I'm lazy I'll try to do it less and actually post something for once

How is your day going? Have you smiled? I Hope your having a good day I hope it hasn't been tough and if it was bare through it i promise it'll all be worth it someday 🙂

Somebody out there probably still has that fond memory of that random act of kindness you did for them.

Friendship between women:



A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew about it.

Friendship between men:

A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed that he was still there.