Therapy

the way i'd cut the rope fast when am fallin

Don't worry we got a net under we won't let you die that easy you are yet to suffer.

The way you'd fall into the grave fast🤦‍♀

thats just dumb

Oh no that's a creepy reaction
....and a nice one too👌

Paris, Texas 1984

🤖 Download via @MegaSaverBot.

I come home weeks after graduating at the top of my class
To find my mother studying her phone screen
Mouthing words she listens carefully
Give-gave-given
Do-did-done
Lose-lost-lost

She seems lost. yet she pauses the video looks up and smiles, tells me I'm proud of you my child,
And I listen as her voice glides gracefully in her mother tongue
She asks how to say this in English, because at the age of 46, my mother's English is the static on an old radio
Mid song, mid conversation, it is the tune she's always humming but can never remember the lyrics of
My mother's English is a wedding song, heard only on special occasions.

My mother got married at 21,
she wrote her final exams wearing red bangles, they slowed her down
She tells me she already found her results before they were announced.
On some days, my mother calls up only for me to translate whatsapp forwards
Translate the argument I have with my father on the family group
In the family groups, my mother serves ka-kha-gha to a table feasting on A-B-Cs
And she sees these alphabets from vapours, suffocating her long after everyone leaves
She says if she could do it again, she'd learn English
So in a room full of people, she would be heard
Over the chitter-chatter, and the clutter-clatter, she'd know her voice mattered
And when her children whispered, she'd understand their code word
So if she could just do it all over again she'd go back to college
Study more before marriage.
And I ask her maa why do you have to do it all over again when you can just begin now?
You can still go to college, sign up for spoken English classes, you can still have all of this.
She smiles, mouths a new word- sacrifice.
Your father needs tea at 7 am every morning, your grandparents need me 24/7 every week.

I have give-gave-given everything for this family
I have do-did-done everything that is my duty
I lose-lost-lost my chance....

Sacrifice

Funny how you do something all your life not knowing there is a word for it
My mother calls this conversation a lost cause.
Calls it her English
Calls it education
Calls it marriage

And I don't know the word for sorry in our mother tongue
I have only poems, I write in a language I believe she hates now
Yet somehow, she still manages to be proud of me.


Found it somewhere

'she's a perfectionist, so she makes everyone around her miserable. In her own way, she's a genius. She can be petty and vengeful and incredibly generous.'

Her husband had smiled. 'In other words, she's a woman.'

        -The stars shine down by Sidney Sheldon

Nah we getting creative 💀